Shallow men need not apply

It is just amazing to me how quickly giddiness can turn to heartache. How quickly high school comes back and out of people you never thought were capable.


I may be a big girl but that does not mean my feelings are any more protected from hurt than the size 0 you imagine yourself with. I live in the real world so I try not to be surprised when things like this happen but tonight I let giddiness get in the way.


High school, some 35 years ago had its ups and downs.  I was a brown haired, blue-eyed cutie pie then. By today's standards no...but then size 9 was the ideal.  Marching and running around with friends kept all the stuff in good shape.  Then pregnancy x2, life and health issues hit...along with sitting at a desk 8-10 hours a day.  Nope, not whining.  This is who I am and I own it.  I understand I am not the ideal and it WAS fine with me. Then hurricane asshat hit.


Today I had to call on someone I used to know and found myself flirting...more because that is what I do and have always done. I am a terrible flirt. This particular someone was a person I have had a crush on for eons. Nothing ever came of it...but a girl can dream!


Then the questions...you used to have a nice figure, what are your measurements now... How is your hair color??  I stammered...told him that the years had not always been kind, nor the junk food. That I was fluffier (thank you Gabriel Iglesias) than in high school ... and that I had no clue or reason to know my measurements now.  A lifelong affection for this man was just consumed in a few stupid ass words.  Shallow much?  I am so much more than my measurements.  I am a professional woman, I am a great mother and a very intelligent person and you are reducing ME to a piece of tail and expecting that IF I am still a size 9 I would be impressed.  Wrong.

Well it is obvious someone hasn't quite developed as one would have wished.  One should never reduce people to their ideal, no one can withstand that level of scrutiny.  The fact remains that now where I was giddy to be speaking to this person, now I am incredibly saddened at the person he appears to have become.


I hate that this hurt me and that I ever called him...but tomorrow I will graciously call and let him off whatever hook he feels like he is hanging on. I would never do to him what he has done to me and I am certainly more wicked with my tongue than he could ever dream of being. I am also far more than he will ever deserve.